This is not a new fic, in fact I seem to be one of the last people in the world to actually read it. But having read it, albeit a year after everyone else, I was so affected by it I had to recommend it. After all, there's always someone who's newer to the fanfic arena than you, right?
And if any slash fic is worth rec'ing it's this one. It actually made me cry. I got so caught up in the story I didn't review it until the end of ch16, by which time I was bawling my eyes out. This is the part that got to me.
from ch16
He grabs my shoulders. "You are FUCKING LYING!" he roars. I'm crying too hard to answer him – I can only shake my head. He releases me and storms back out of the bedroom to the living room. Slowly I follow him; I stand in the doorway between the two rooms, watching as he paces around the room, his hands again clasped behind his back, muttering to himself.Yeah. I know, right? It's one of those moments where you find yourself desperately wanting to scream 'Just fucking talk to each other, you'll figure it out!' but you can't because of the tears and snot and they wouldn't hear you from behind the handful of tissues anyway.
"This is too close...it's too close," he murmurs. Again and again he repeats those words – too close. Finally he says, "No!" and skids to a halt. He eyes me standing there watching him; and says, "He knows we've been together. I have worked too hard..." he breaks off and closes his eyes, trying to collect his thoughts. When they reopen, all trace of tenderness, any affection he's held for me – they're all gone. Replaced by an infinite vacancy that tears my heart into a thousand pieces.
"This thing...it's over," he says flatly. "They know we've been together. Thanks to you, they have a lovely little window into my life."
"Edward, no..." I plead. "He didn't know we were together till they saw us tonight. I didn't tell him..."
"But they know now, Jasper," he continues, cold, detached. "And that is insupportable. You'll see him at the hospital, he'll ask you about me...you're too polite to tell him that it's none of his fucking business..." He shakes his head. "No. The window is closed. It was...fine...while it lasted. But it's done now."
My eyes close and I feel myself start to sway. I have to reach out to the door frame to steady myself. Three words repeat in my mind, over and over. Edward...please...no. Edward...please...no.
When I reopen my eyes, he is dialing his phone. "Who are you calling?" I manage to whisper.
"A cab," he answers bluntly.
The room feels like it's spinning as I listen to him speak to the dispatcher; he provides his own address as the pickup address and mine as the destination. This isn't happening...Edward...please...no...this can't be the way it ends...Edward...please...no...
Finally Edward clears his throat. I open my eyes, and he's holding my coat and the box I picked up from the table at the restaurant. "The taxi will be here soon. I'd rather you waited downstairs," he says ungraciously. "Here's your stuff."
"That's not mine," I whisper, indicating the box.
"Well, I don't need it anymore," he replies. "I don't want it in my apartment. Take it with you."
I shrug into my coat, and take the box from his hands. He shoves his hands in his pockets and stares at the floor. It's ending...how can this be the end?
One last time, I implore him. "Please don't do this..."
Finally he meets my gaze, but his eyes are cold and dead. He steps past me to open the door. "I didn't do this," he says coldly. "Goodbye, Jasper."
I will not say goodbye. "I love you." I refuse to believe I'm the only one feeling it.
The door closes behind me, and it's so final, so abrupt. I want to collapse on the floor outside his door. Somehow, though, I know I have to get home first. I stumble my way down the stairs, and the cab is waiting outside the front door.
I get in, and the cab driver asks, "Where to?" I manage to choke out my address, and he turns around to look at me. "Are you okay?" he asks, with kind concern.
"No," I answer truthfully. "Please, just take me home."
It's not all angst though, and it has a HEA, a spin off and plenty of outtakes. It's well written, the author does present tense excellently and mixes present moments with flashbacks flawlessly, and the characterisation is fantastic. These boys grow and learn and change, both apart and together and it's amazing to look back at them in ch1, once the journey is over, and see where they started out.
Don't think you'll be disappointed in this one. It's a completed fic too, so perfect to go with that bottle of wine you were saving for Christmas ;).
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